reasons for having a baby
Tea Time Conversations

Relationships: Let’s Not Kid Ourselves!

reasons for having a babySo you’re a newlywed couple and you’re madly in love with each other. But about a year has passed and people around you have started hinting that perhaps it is a good time for you to begin a family. This is a very typical behavior and often leads to moments of anxiety and awkwardness. I do see the logic behind this intervention as most couples these days get married in their late twenties or early thirties. Still, I feel that it is a very personal decision and is best left for the couple to decide upon.

What I want to talk about is the thought process that plays in a couple’s mind. I want to talk about what helps a couple address this so called problem.

Is it okay to delay? Yes, absolutely! As long as you both are on the same page, it is absolutely okay to delay having a baby. With advancements in science, we have managed to push the time lines that nature had bound us with. But it is important to be on the same page with your partner. As a man, you have to be extra vigilant of your wife’s aspirations. If you’re assuming each other’s thoughts, I’d suggest having a long but constructive talk.

Having a baby makes us complete: People may differ with me here but I feel that your partner should make you complete. A baby is perhaps a beautiful addition to that feeling. But it is absolutely essential to be complete before deciding to begin a family. Your partner is your support and if you’re lucky your best friend. Many people, who do not have this compassion with their partners head out on an endless journey to find it and end up depressed. Having a baby is a taxing development and it is best to be at the acme of your relationship, physically and mentally.

Nothing better to do: I have seen people start a family out of sheer boredom. I have seen people start a family to rekindle the feeling of togetherness. Trust me; this is an absolute no. If you feel there’s something missing between you as a couple, it is best not to get the baby into the mess. Sort out your differences first. Try and remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place. It is very important for you to develop a very healthy environment for your child. This healthy environment begins with the both of you.

Sharing is caring: With working couples it has become very difficult for either partner to take care of the child on their own. It is best to divide the responsibilities. If the men find it difficult dealing with the baby, they can definitely pitch in with other activities like sterilizing the baby bottles, heating the feed, arranging the diapers and other baby needs. They can also take care of the partner, perhaps pamper her even more. In any case this is a joint assignment and should be handled together. Most men shy away from this responsibility and this doesn’t help is developing a warm cohesive household.

Having a child is a miracle. I’m surprised how much pressure partners can create over each other over things which a so beyond their control. Remember, you are trying to make your bond stronger. Having a child with someone is perhaps the most beautiful way of telling them how much you love them. Do not lose out on the love of your life just because your best friend had a son nine months after his marriage or because the random aunty in the neighborhood asked you why you were delaying having a baby. Have faith in yourself and enjoy your marriage, travel the world, enjoy each other’s company. That is what matters the most.

Abhinav Sahni is the co-founder of Blue Sky Dreamers. He quit his job in IT to pursue his love for writing and travelling.


  • Sarabpreet Kaur

    🙂 Very beautifully written! I agree with all the points. It is sad that sometimes couples fail to be logical even in such a sensitive issue, and rather make simple things complicated.

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