“My Choice” gone wrong

So they are excitedly readying their bags for the weekend trip of their choice when they see this “My Choice” video travelling all over the Internet. Interesting, they say and get back to packing.

She notices his growing belly and shrinking clothes and taunts him yet again when he turns around and says, “My belly is the ever expanding universe. To use cotton and silk to trap it is to believe you can trap the universe…anyway, they don’t have a size for my spirit and never will.”

Agitated by the response, she pauses and declares she wants to go to Jim Corbett for weekend and not Manali. “My choice,” she grumps.

“Snowfall and snowflakes. Manali. My choice,” he says.

“Trees and forest. Corbett. My choice,” she firmly voices her opinion.

My choice, he shouts.

My choice, she screams.

 

We – Abhinav and Purva – got into a hypothetical argument after watching the much talked about video. A detailed discussion later, we thought of sharing our views with everyone here. We know there is enough opinion on it already. But we’ll share ours anyway. Our choice!

Snowflake or tree, privilege or choice, settler or ‘reacher’! What is my choice and your choice when the relationship is “our choice”.

The thing about a healthy relationship is that there isn’t any my choice or your choice but a soul soothing our choice. Yes, there are difficult times and happy times and crazy times but that’s life.

That’s the thing about marriage, about relationships that most people don’t get. When you’re with your soul mate, such questions never arise.

The video has reloaded the age old battle of the sexes, may be just with better marketing. Battle is the operative word. Like any battle there will be bloodshed, there will be casualties and even collateral damage. But hey, if you equate relationships to battles… no matter who wins, it will be a battle nonetheless.

So why is it about a battle? Why is it about who is more empowered?

To marry or not to marry can be your individual choice. But when you’re in it, it’s not his responsibility or hers to keep it alive.

We’re not saying sex outside marriage is “haaw”. We’re saying sex outside marriage as solely his choice or hers is unfair.

Whether it’s travel, food or relationships, it’s always about the decisions you take together. Whether it’s something as trivial as clothes or something as important as having a baby, its best addressed as ‘our’ rather than mine. Clothes can be mine but a baby is ours.

“Technically, the baby can be mine,” she jokes.

Technically, the video is a joke. The sheer carelessness with which some very serious issues have been dealt with in this video has left us rather disappointed. Seeming to talk about empowerment, it belittles the definition of a relationship.

We get the point of the “feminists” out there saying till now men were the oppressors and now it’s time for women to take control of the planet! So if it’s about which is the more empowered gender, then let’s keep going. But where does this end? “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind,” said Gandhi.

Come home at 4 am or 6 pm, it doesn’t matter. But come home to a beautiful, healthy relationship and not to a battlefield.

Surprisingly, the video does not mention parenting and education – two powerful tools for the population the video only seems to address. It raises very poignant and real issues but with so much glaze and makeup that it misses the point altogether.

We feel very passionately about the subject – relationships and roles. Watch this space for more if you agree with “our” opinions.

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